Isang depressing na post tungkol sa pagkakaroon ng "crush"

"Do you catch a breath when I look at you? Are you holding back like the way I do? ‘Cause I've tried and tried to walk away But I know this crush ain’t going away-ay-ay Going away-ay-ay" 

Haha kanta 'yan ni David Archuleta, yung "Crush." Na-feel ko lang na ilagay siya pang-intro kasi relevant siya sa post na 'to. 

Nakakatuwa kaya magka-crush. Tipong makikita mo lang si crush sa corridor tapos buo na araw mo, sobrang GV mo na all day na hindi mo magagawang makatulog sa Chem 123 kasi iisipin mo lang siya buong period. Disclaimer: Kathang-isip lang yang example na 'yan, hehe. Pero at the end of the day, maiisip mo rin na nakakalungkot din yung crush crush na 'yan 'pag narerealize mong one-way lang yung daloy ng feelings at walang pag-asang mamunga ng kahit ano yung kung ano mang kalandiang nararamdaman mo. Tipong:

1. OMG online siya sa facebook. Tapos online ka rin. (Kilegz) Tapos kasabay nun ay online din ang 142 na friends mo. Tapos kahit ano pang titig mo sa pangalan niya sa sidebar ay hindi mo rin naman kayang magkaroon ng lakas na loob para makipag-chat sa kanya.

2. OMG finavorite niya tweet mo. Pero finafavorite din naman niya yung tweets ng mutual friends niyo.

3. Ililike mo yung picture niya tapos kikiligin ka. Tapos ililike din yun ng 37 other friends niya. Tapos malulunod na lang sa dagat ng notifications yung paglilike mo sa picture na yon.

4. Tatambay ka sa pag-asang nandun siya. (tangina sana wala akong orgmate na nakakabasa nito) Tapos 'pag nandun naman siya, di mo naman kakausapin. Hindi mo nga rin kayang tabihan eh.

5. Sasama ka sa dinner sa Philcoa o Katipunan kapag kasama siya. Again, hindi mo rin naman siya magagawang kausapin. Hanggang pasulyap-sulyap lang (Haha drama poge)

6. Automatic kilig na kaagad 'pag nakita mo sa inbox mo na ang new message ay galing kay *Ate...*. Tapos magtatanong lang naman siya tungkol sa trabaho. Pero bakit ba, nakakakilig pa rin na may pangalan niya sa inbox mo.

7. Tapos yung mga mas nakakadepress pang bagay tulad ng magl-look forward kang makakasama mo siya papuntang Marikina isang Sunday, only to find out na hindi pala siya pwede. Haha medyo nakakapulbos lang ng puso at damdamin.

I could go on and on kaya lang medyo nanlalabo na yung mata ko dahil sa luha na dulot ng pait at kirot na aking nadarama. Teka brb ibabaon ko lang mukha ko sa unan ko at magbubuhos ng hinanakit sa mundo.

Kunwari nag-uumapaw sa sense at intellect itong post na 'to

Deep thoughts yo

Being in nostalgic mood sucks because thinking about how fast time flies makes me delve deep into stashes and stashes of memories; and that requires a lot of brain (and emotional) power to do.

When the clock struck at 12 MN earlier, the new set of officers in our org officially took on their respective positions and responsibilities; three of them are from my batch - people I was with during the grueling application process we all hurdled last semester. It felt like yesterday; yet, at the end of this semester, me, along with some of my batchmates, will take on responsibilities for the organization that leaders before us held.

And then there's the graduating batch, some of which were the officers that I looked up to during the application process. I'll definitely, definitely miss them. I find a year way too short for me to get to know them better. However, as much I would like to cling on to their guidance and leadership, people need to move on and people must learn to learn by themselves.

Thinking about these stuff made me realize that I've actually attached myself to this org more than I thought of or expected to. Probably because the experiences the org provided me with was almost what this school year was all about. I've gained a lot, yet I've lost, and still losing a lot (mostly exam points). I've sacrificed so much time, and with that I've missed so much - birthdays, sleep, moments that I could've spent with my other friends. But life wouldn't progress without making any choices and sacrifices - yes, some of which we would regret later on but that's how we learn.

This has been said a million times before, but people really do come and go quickly. Whether we like it or not, it's inevitable, seeing that the world offers such a huge wealth of opportunities and experiences that confining yourself into one cramped space would be highly unreasonable and impractical. But the fact that you've met these people, among the other billions of humans in this world, and they were able to carve a special place in your heart is definitely something extraordinary. 

Hell week, then Holy week, then Hell week

Swamped with three exams for the weekend - and they are from subjects that are very good candidates for a sweet, sweet quatro or singko this semester. I don't how I would actually study all of those in two to three days, especially with other important extra-curricular events to attend to. I secretly think that these teachers actually conspired to give out their exams with the longest coverages on the same weekend. Seriously you heartless pieces of intelligent shit, why would you do this. Didn't you receive enough love and care when you were children that all of you transformed into evil, unforgiving creatures whose goal is to make poor, poor students fail?

Lahat ng kadramahan sa buhay lumalabas kapag 2AM na't hindi ka pa rin makatulog

So much thoughts consuming my mind right now I can't even comprehend my own thought process as of the moment.

Please let me sleep I have classes and quizzes I haven't studied for.