Last day of 2013!

I could write a long and dramatic post on how 2013 has been to me but I've been so lazy lately, choosing idleness over finishing council and acad-related jobs that I've put on hold since the break started. I'd be regretting that decision starting tomorrow, but whateverrrr

I would've wanted to post this on facebook but it's too long so in order to keep this blog alive I'll be posting this new year-related status here instead!

Sobrang self-centered at madramang post pero wala akong pakeee

This year has got to be the best among the 19 years that I have lived through. It was filled with challenges and triumphs; mula sa tone-toneladang stress at kapaguran (maraming salamat sa pinagsama-samang acads, council at org), sa mga sarili kong kadramahan sa buhay, sa ilan kong pagbagsak at pagkatalo (di pa ako graduate sa Math Bldg), pati na rin sa mga ka-weirdohan na ginawa ko (uhh Bb. Ba'to), hanggang sa mga masasayang alaala ng pagkapanalo (marami-rami 'to), salu-salo at tawanan kasama ang mga taong nasa paligid ko (pati na rin kahit wala akong kasama haha freaky). These, along with alot more memories gives me all the more reason to say that 2013 was really an amazing year. To old and (relatively) new friends, maraming salamat! Hope you all had a good year; let's all look forward to 2014!

2014, please be better than 2013! Mas marami pa sanang masasayang pangyayari sa lahat ng aspeto ng buhay ko ang maganap (pati sa love life ew love)! Happy New Year!!!

Heheheheheheheh

"Okay lang 'yan."

Naalala ko yung pari sa isang Christmas Eve mass na inattend-an namin dati a few years back. Sabi niya, everytime na may pagsubok, everytime na may dinaramdam, everytime na na-ooverwhelm ka na, lagi mo lang idugtong - "Okay lang 'yan." So okay, i-ttry ko siya ngayon.

Sobrang baon na baon na ako sa dami ng ipapasang papers at probsets, sa dami ng exams na kailangang pag-aralan ng mabuti dahil sa totoo lang, wala pa akong naiintindihan kahit katiting mula sa mga tinuturo ng mga prof ko at sa dami ng pubmats, events at extra-curricular na mga trabaho na dapat gawin at pagplanuhan.

Okay lang 'yan.

Naooverwhelm ako minsan ng iba't ibang klaseng feelings para sa isang tao, para sa maraming tao, para sa isang konsepto, para sa isang pangyayari, para sa maraming bagay. Feelings ng pag-momove on, feelings na masakit, feelings na nakakafrustrate, feelings na nakakagalit, feelings dahil nakakatamad na magka-feelings... eh hindi pa naman ako marunong mag-handle ng feelings kaya nagmumukhang okay lang ako lagi. Pero sa totoo lang, sumasabog na utak ko.

Okay lang 'yan.

Minsan dumarating ako sa puntong ayoko na lang bumangon ng kama kasi haharap na naman ako sa mga tao na feeling ko minsan nagiging toxic na sa akin... at sa mga tao in general. Minsan gusto ko na lang hindi pumasok sa mga klase ko ng isang linggo. Hindi ko alam, parang nasasaid na ako sa inspirasyon at motivation.

Okay lang 'yan.

Tang ina, okay nga lang 'yan.

Ang buhay ay parang bato. It's hard.

I know, sobrang innovative ng title ng post na ito. I kinda spent a minute on it just to make it sound right.

May mga sandali talaga na mapapatigil ka ng ilang minuto para lang ipaalala sa sarili mo lahat ng kagaguhang nararamdaman at ginagawa mo ngayon. Tipong hearbroken ka na nga dahil hindi ka crush ng crush mo, tapos may crush pa siyang iba. Kahit may mga oras pa rin na feeling mo ispesyal ka para sa kanya, patuloy mong ipapaalala sa sarili mo na magkaibigan lang kayo. Nakakaawa at masakit at the same time. Idagdag pa diyan ang walang katapusang pagtambak ng trabaho left, right and center. Tapos minsan, yung mga simpleng kamalasan tulad ng pag-ayaw ng cellphone mong mag-alarm isang umaga. Okay lang sana kung ang tanging consequence lang nun ay malalate ka sa klase, but wait there's more - zero na ang paper report na pinaghirapan mong tapusin, naka-miss ka ng isang quiz at zero pa ang lab performance mo on that day. At ang pinakahuli, ang college course crisis na tatlong taon mo nang pinagdadaanan. Hanggang ngayon, sa tuwing maririnig mo ang katagang "shift," nanginginig pa rin ang kalamnan mo kasabay ng pag-blackout ng iyong pag-iisip. Joke lang, ang OA na.

Pagkatapos mong mag-reflect sa mga kamaliang nagaganap sa buhay mo, mapag-dedesisyunan mong isulat siya sa blog mo. Tapos itatanong mo sa sarili mo, "so, anong nagawa ng pagsusulat kong ito?" Alam na alam mo sa sarili mo na ang sagot ay wala. Kasi pagkatapos nito, heartbroken ka pa rin, malas ka pa rin, at makikita mo pa rin sa files mo ang nga hindi tapos na reports, poster design, event proposal, schedule of meetings at exams.

So anong magandang solusyon? Pakamatay na! Hindi ka naman magiging kawalan sa mahigit na anim na bilyong taong naglalakad sa mundong ibabaw ngayon. CHERET. Biro lang, excuse me I'm more than this. Istrong ako.

Hay second sem

I let out a heavy sigh after seeing another Form 5 printed with my name on it. The paper signified that I am yet to endure another semester of heavy workload from various sources, that my break was over, that I should start working for things to happen, that I should be using this semester to offset the academic horrors that I incurred last semester, etc.

I can hear people say to me: "Maswerte ka nga't nakakapag-aral ka, yung iba gustung-gustong pumasok ng kolehiyo, ikaw ikinalulungkot mo." My reply would be: "Maswerte nga yung iba na hindi nag-aaral, may mga gustong gawin yun pero hindi pwede." My point here is everything is relative. We are all struggling to hurdle whatever constraint binds us, and comparing our struggles shouldn't be done solely because, again, everything is relative. There is no way to quantify struggle.

Ang labo at ang douche-y ng dating. Ang punto lang naman eh wala pa ako sa mood pumasok. But then again, time won't wait for me to get ready, so I have to wake up at 5:30am every Tuesdays and Thursdays just to get to lab on time.

Para kanino ba ako babangon this sem?

Para sa mga klase ko, para sa council, para sa Chemsoc.

Nakakatawa, pero para rin sa kanila ako napupuyat. Minsan nga, wala nang pagbangon na nagaganap kasi wala na ring pagtulog na nagaganap. Pero ano pa bang magagawa ko, ito na ang buhay ko. Ilang taon na lang naman, malilibre na ako sa mga responsibilidad na ito. Na-enjoy ko naman na sila (maliban sa acads) ng ilang buwan. <3

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On other news, nakakaawa na talaga ang Pilipinas. Lindol, kurakot na mga politiko, ignoranteng mga mamamayan, at ngayon, kagaya pa ng ibang mga taon, bagyo. At hindi lang basta bagyo, isa sa mga pinakamalakas na bagyo na dumapo sa planeta.

My heart goes out to those who were affected by the gigantic typhoon.

"You know that beautiful things usually follow if only you can muster up that little bit of faith to keep going"

... Mustering up faith to keep going would require time. Therefore, can I just wallow in my sadness, fears and troubles for quite a while? For the meantime, I'd feel more comfortable that way.

Isa-isa lang naman kasi sana, life. 'Wag naman sabay-sabay o.

Terey ang drama

(http://thoughtcatalog.com/briannaewiest/2013/10/the-things-you-shouldnt-always-have-to-learn-the-hard-way/)

Alternative Career Options

Sa takbo ng pag-aaral ko ngayon, hindi ko talaga maiwasang mag-isip ng mga posible kong tahaking career sakaling maging sobrang bigo na ako bilang college student, o di kaya'y sobrang mabwisit na ako sa inaaral ko. Hindi ko alam, pero malakas ang feeling kong darating ako sa alinmang sitwasyon diyan, konting panahon na lang.

Kaya ngayong inumaga na naman ako sa pagsstruggle kong matulog, sinubukan kong ilista ang mga maari kong pasuking karera para lang mapangalagaan ko ang kinabukasan ko:

1. Maging call center agent. Punyeta ilang oras na akong nakahiga at nakapikit, di pa rin dumarating ang antok ko eh. Might as well pagkakitaan ko na lang yung pagkasira ng body clock ko.
2. Maging housemate ni Kuya. O di kaya'y gumawa ng sex scandal. Anything para maging artista. Uso naman yan ngayon eh.
3. Maging rapper, o kaya DJ. Promise, pangarap ko talaga ito. Naghihintay na lang ako pagkalooban ng talent ng Panginoon.
4. Tumakbo bilang kagawad sa baranggay namin. Hindi naman kailangan masyado ng utak.
5. Magtulak ng droga. Eto feeling ko bagay sa looks ko 'to eh.
6. Magbenta ng kidney, ideposit sa bangko ang pera. Feeling ko dapat pinag-iisipan ko na 'to, para pagtanda ko malaki-laki na ang naipon ng pera ko.
7. Magbenta ng laman. Php 100 isang putok.
8. Mang-akit ng matandang mayaman na malapit nang mamatay. Lalaki man o babae, papatusin ko na.

At least, if all else fails I have eight career options to consider. Ninth na lang siguro yung pagpapakatino sa pag-aaral at subuking bawiin yung mga mababang grades ng mga nakaraang semestre. Sige pa Justin ihuli mo pa 'yan. Hnnngghhh

Five. Lima. Singko.

A few days ago, the semester with the highest amounts of stress, disappointment, frustration, happiness and then some more stress has finally concluded!! What a semester that was. Really.

I got my first 5.00! I expected it anyway, having been slacking off in that subject. I didn't even study for the finals. But thanks to my weird character of being able to put all my negative emotions in a box and showering it with a facade of happiness until that box is completely shrouded with rainbows and butterflies, I managed to show not a single hintof sadness. Which isn't necessarily a good thing, because when the shroud of happiness is gone, the box would still be there. It gives me an empty feeling, because I know I should be feeling sad and disappointed right now, but I just... don't.

On other news, I've been having a couple of (one-way, I bet) virtual kilig moments since last nightttttt hahaha pathetic kid I know but sorry I just can't help itttttttt ehehehe I never liked facebook messenger (I wouldn't have left Y!M if it wasn't for group projects) but for two nights straight I've loved it hahahah </end>

Wishes

I wish I'd be more understanding about anything.
I wish I'd get to know myself more.
I wish I'd get to know you more.
I wish I'd be more open about my feelings.
I wish to know what I really want.
I wish to discover a lot of new things, meet a lot of new people.

And again, I wish typing my thoughts out would be as easy as actually doing them.

Time does not wait for anyone

It will always move forward, and so should I. Accept defeat, learn from it, move on. It was my fault anyway.

I wish typing these words is as easy as actually doing them in real life.

Sabaw at four in the morning

Here's a post while taking a break from studying some mathematical goodness which I actually haven't started yet - yup, I always take a break even before getting started with work. That's logic, and procrastination for ya.

You see, I, a man of such philosophical stature always have deep thoughts that occupy my consciousness, especially during times like these when I am left alone to wonder about things that mostly concern society, science, the universe, art, reasoning, logic, religion and all those deep and serious stuff that most people take for granted, and only humans of wide and far-reaching understanding such as mine could comprehend. I do hope that if anyone is reading this, you see the word sarcasm in between each line.

---- On love and shit

Baahhh romance, love, admiration and shit. I'm starting to hate myself for having hormones and consequently, feelings, since they mess the crap out of my thinking. Especially when feelings don't get reciprocated, and unfortunately in my situation, I think it never will. Anong ka-emohan na naman ito. You know, the classic you like this person but she like another shit, which is a character in almost every god damn romantic film. Pop culture really takes a shit on your face.

---- On Philippine politics and corruption and shit

I may not really look like a person who gives a rat's ass about it, but I actually do. With all these corruption issues, I do think that there's a greater, greater evil beyond what the media shows regarding the Philippine government. Society is highly flawed and who knows what the extent of human evil and greed can do. It would take a lot of willpower from the masses to overthrow this corrupted system, but I don't think it will happen soon.  Lots of nationalistic shit have happened in the past yet Filipinos still vote for the wrong people, those who do good still get killed and those who are in power are still the gods. Basically all I'm saying is this country is buried deep in shit, but because I like to be hopeful and nationalistic, I say we can still get out of this shit, let's just wait for the Lord to hand in brains to the masses and conscience to the rich.

---- On happiness and shit

We attended a debate regarding gay marriage last week, and I ended up getting pissed with how narrow some people mind's are. One thing I don't understand about humans is how they easily make every damn thing complicated. Come to think of it, we all have free will that easily transcends every rule or law out there. We've been so accustomed with being guarded by laws that we're running out of courage to break norms anymore ( I could totally say this to myself right now hahhhhaha careers and shit tangina)

---- On what's been happening to my life right now and shit

Basically:

- Subjects are getting harder, I'm getting lazier, I'm getting more apathetic, I'm going to get a 5.00 in math, I'm gonna get delayed, I'm....
- On the brighter, I've learned a lot this semester, having been subjected to so much stress and pressure brought about by my passion for service and leadership #cheret. I feel like I've come a long way where I was during high school. Pero sabaw pa rin ako at ayoko pa rin ng inaaral ko, boring.

 And I'm done

Best

The past four to five weeks of my life will certainly go down as one of the most memorable moments of this year. I entered the organizing committee of our college's sportsfest expecting lots of stress and struggle, and definitely I got that and more. It was such a draining experience, but definitely a great one.

Never have I experienced loads of stress, disappointment, anxiety, depression and fun all at the same time. KaSCIyahan just ended two days ago, but it feels like this is just the start of something awesome. Even though we didn't achieve maximum participation from our institute, nonetheless, I've never felt so attached to them. Who would've thought I'd work this hard for an academic institution I've despised to enter.

There's still so much feelings to write about, but it would take a good hour for me to write them all down so I'd settle with this piece for now. Congratulations, Institute of Chemistry for winning the KaSCIyahan championship three times in a row! Never been this proud. Still on high after the announcement of winners two nights ago. Haha I love winning.

Mind reading

It was never easy for me (well I guess, for anybody) to figure out how other people feel or think based on their actions. Except of course if one day I'll be like Professor X, which is pretty impossible to happen as I am definitely far away from being that awesome. But if I were, not only I'd be able to know how ~you~ actually feel and think [about me], but I'll also be able to get a perfect score in my third Math exam to actually get a grade of 3.00. (hehe delinquent student right heree)

It's the not-knowing that actually bothers my mind. My chem knowledge, coupled with some machines could only interpret signals given off by unknown organic compounds, not feelings of people. (Gusto ko lang talaga isingit na may chem knowledge ako) If only they could invent spectrophotometers for people, that would actually be useful.

Maybe stress is good....

... eventually. Baka totoo nga naman yung metaphor na madalas ginagamit - carbon turns into diamond through lots of pressure and stress, just like people. Oo, ako yung carbon 'tas magiging diamond ako sa huli. Ewan, baka lang naman, positive thinking. Kasi ngayong iniisip ko, bakit ko hinahayaan yung sarili kong tanggapin lahat ng trabahong ito na sa una pa lang naman ay tinanggihan ko na. Pangalawa, masama na kung masama, pero kung tutuusin, wala naman itong balik sa akin, kundi yung bullshit na "fulfillment." Oo, kailangan ko ng fulfillment, pero sana sa undergraduate course at magiging career ko, hindi yung sa mga gawain na ultimately ang tanging pabuya lang ay pampaganda ng resume... tiaka nga daw, "fulfillment."

Actually nagrarant lang ako. Pero kahit ano namang pag-iisip na gagawin ko, hindi pa rin naman hihinto ang mundo para makinig sa problema at mga kaartehan ko sa buhay. Katulad ngayon, in 30 minutes, kakain na ako. In one hour, maliligo na ako. At in two hours, (assuming na hindi ako malalate ng 20 minutes, kagaya ng um, lahat ng mga nakaraang araw) nasa MS 220 class na naman ako ni Ma'am McGlone na maaari kong maging thesis adviser.

Kaya nga naisip ko, na baka nga maging diamond din ako sa huli. You know, hard. Haha iba pala yun. Pero sabi nila, experience 'yan. Sabi nila. Pero lahat naman ng bagay na napagdaanan natin, stressful man o hindi ay experience lahat. Next time, kung irarason niyo 'yan sa akin, sabihin niyo naman kung good o bad experience, lagyan niyo ng adjective. Hindi sapat yung noun lang.

Wala na akong sense 'no? Haha gutom na ako eh. Tangina sana matapos na 'tong experience na ito.

Stress, frustrations, disappointment

That moment when you expect people to act like they should but they won't, saying "ok po." to a lengthy message you sent them which practically begs for their participation for something important - stress. [Tang ina niyong mga weakshit. 'Wag mo na lang sabihin sa akin na "ok po," diretso na lang na "Sorry hindi kami makakapunta kasi marami kaming reasons kasi weak kami." 'Wag na 'wag niyong tatangkain magpost ng pubmats na may "Institute-Recognized" shit, sisirain ko 'yang mga posters niyo. ]

That moment when people you thought you'd see amidst stressful situations even though they are occupied themselves won't be able to make it - frustration.

That moment when your muse and mascot didn't receive much support from the crowd because of the lack of the attendance from your institute - complete disappointment.

And that moment when you cry, just to relieve a tiny bit of stress, frustrations and disappointment that has been building up since... ever - sadness.

Hi blog it's been a while

I'm not in the mood to rant but I have a lot of things to rant about. Nowadays I seem to get irritated easily but jesus people are frustrating WHY AREN'T THEY THINKING GAHD. I HATE THIS SEM THERE'S JUST SO MUCH TO HATE ABOUT IT - ACADS AND NON-ACAD RELATED SHIT WHY AM I HERE

Yesterday was one of those days where I just didn't want to leave the comfort of my bed even though some important errands were begging for my attention. I even (intentionally) missed a meeting without any valid excuse, dismissing a phone call that I am 100% sure of would be about work. I actually sometimes don't see the point of holding meetings ever single freaking week before the actual start of classes. Probably I am oversimplifying things but people some stuff are meant to be uncomplicated, okay.

Lots of work are ahead of me, especially now that our event, which is just four days from now, is still lacking too much stuff that I've grown tired of thinking about it and about to reach a point of apathy. The past few days were quite disappointing and stressful (except for some moments of happiness - hi friends!).

"Tinatamad na po kasi siyang mabuhay." Siya = me. An actual person actually said that. For the past few days, I feel like gray skies are always looming above me even though the weather was not like that everyday. I am assuming this is just hormonal or I'm actually having a period right now. Hashtag emotiooons.

I think it would be better if I just hit the sack right now (for the fourth time since I woke up at 11am earlier.)

Stressed na ako sa buhay

STRESS = Parang theme 'yan ng buhay ko buong academic year 2012-2013. Next year din 'yan. HASHTAG EXCITING LIFE. HASHTAG STRESSFUL LIFE. HASHTAG NAKAMAMATAY NA BUHAY

Isang depressing na post tungkol sa pagkakaroon ng "crush"

"Do you catch a breath when I look at you? Are you holding back like the way I do? ‘Cause I've tried and tried to walk away But I know this crush ain’t going away-ay-ay Going away-ay-ay" 

Haha kanta 'yan ni David Archuleta, yung "Crush." Na-feel ko lang na ilagay siya pang-intro kasi relevant siya sa post na 'to. 

Nakakatuwa kaya magka-crush. Tipong makikita mo lang si crush sa corridor tapos buo na araw mo, sobrang GV mo na all day na hindi mo magagawang makatulog sa Chem 123 kasi iisipin mo lang siya buong period. Disclaimer: Kathang-isip lang yang example na 'yan, hehe. Pero at the end of the day, maiisip mo rin na nakakalungkot din yung crush crush na 'yan 'pag narerealize mong one-way lang yung daloy ng feelings at walang pag-asang mamunga ng kahit ano yung kung ano mang kalandiang nararamdaman mo. Tipong:

1. OMG online siya sa facebook. Tapos online ka rin. (Kilegz) Tapos kasabay nun ay online din ang 142 na friends mo. Tapos kahit ano pang titig mo sa pangalan niya sa sidebar ay hindi mo rin naman kayang magkaroon ng lakas na loob para makipag-chat sa kanya.

2. OMG finavorite niya tweet mo. Pero finafavorite din naman niya yung tweets ng mutual friends niyo.

3. Ililike mo yung picture niya tapos kikiligin ka. Tapos ililike din yun ng 37 other friends niya. Tapos malulunod na lang sa dagat ng notifications yung paglilike mo sa picture na yon.

4. Tatambay ka sa pag-asang nandun siya. (tangina sana wala akong orgmate na nakakabasa nito) Tapos 'pag nandun naman siya, di mo naman kakausapin. Hindi mo nga rin kayang tabihan eh.

5. Sasama ka sa dinner sa Philcoa o Katipunan kapag kasama siya. Again, hindi mo rin naman siya magagawang kausapin. Hanggang pasulyap-sulyap lang (Haha drama poge)

6. Automatic kilig na kaagad 'pag nakita mo sa inbox mo na ang new message ay galing kay *Ate...*. Tapos magtatanong lang naman siya tungkol sa trabaho. Pero bakit ba, nakakakilig pa rin na may pangalan niya sa inbox mo.

7. Tapos yung mga mas nakakadepress pang bagay tulad ng magl-look forward kang makakasama mo siya papuntang Marikina isang Sunday, only to find out na hindi pala siya pwede. Haha medyo nakakapulbos lang ng puso at damdamin.

I could go on and on kaya lang medyo nanlalabo na yung mata ko dahil sa luha na dulot ng pait at kirot na aking nadarama. Teka brb ibabaon ko lang mukha ko sa unan ko at magbubuhos ng hinanakit sa mundo.

Kunwari nag-uumapaw sa sense at intellect itong post na 'to

Deep thoughts yo

Being in nostalgic mood sucks because thinking about how fast time flies makes me delve deep into stashes and stashes of memories; and that requires a lot of brain (and emotional) power to do.

When the clock struck at 12 MN earlier, the new set of officers in our org officially took on their respective positions and responsibilities; three of them are from my batch - people I was with during the grueling application process we all hurdled last semester. It felt like yesterday; yet, at the end of this semester, me, along with some of my batchmates, will take on responsibilities for the organization that leaders before us held.

And then there's the graduating batch, some of which were the officers that I looked up to during the application process. I'll definitely, definitely miss them. I find a year way too short for me to get to know them better. However, as much I would like to cling on to their guidance and leadership, people need to move on and people must learn to learn by themselves.

Thinking about these stuff made me realize that I've actually attached myself to this org more than I thought of or expected to. Probably because the experiences the org provided me with was almost what this school year was all about. I've gained a lot, yet I've lost, and still losing a lot (mostly exam points). I've sacrificed so much time, and with that I've missed so much - birthdays, sleep, moments that I could've spent with my other friends. But life wouldn't progress without making any choices and sacrifices - yes, some of which we would regret later on but that's how we learn.

This has been said a million times before, but people really do come and go quickly. Whether we like it or not, it's inevitable, seeing that the world offers such a huge wealth of opportunities and experiences that confining yourself into one cramped space would be highly unreasonable and impractical. But the fact that you've met these people, among the other billions of humans in this world, and they were able to carve a special place in your heart is definitely something extraordinary. 

Hell week, then Holy week, then Hell week

Swamped with three exams for the weekend - and they are from subjects that are very good candidates for a sweet, sweet quatro or singko this semester. I don't how I would actually study all of those in two to three days, especially with other important extra-curricular events to attend to. I secretly think that these teachers actually conspired to give out their exams with the longest coverages on the same weekend. Seriously you heartless pieces of intelligent shit, why would you do this. Didn't you receive enough love and care when you were children that all of you transformed into evil, unforgiving creatures whose goal is to make poor, poor students fail?

Lahat ng kadramahan sa buhay lumalabas kapag 2AM na't hindi ka pa rin makatulog

So much thoughts consuming my mind right now I can't even comprehend my own thought process as of the moment.

Please let me sleep I have classes and quizzes I haven't studied for.

Hindi pa naman tapos ang Buwan ng Pag-ibig

Oo, hahabol pa ako sa mga romantic posts na 'yan, may tatlong araw pa naman bago matapos ang buwan na 'to eh. Tiaka wala namang maling panahon para sa pag-ibig eh. Sabi nga nila, love is blind. Haha sige tanggapin niyo na lang please

Ang susunod na mga salita ay bunga sa pagka-inspire ko sa post ng aking pretty friend, si Pauline. Kaya ako nagtatagalog ngayon. Actually sadyang inggitero at gaya-gaya lang ako kaya gagawin ko ito.

Ang gusto kong love ay yung...

...hindi demanding. Sino ba naman ang gusto sa nakakasakal na relationship. Haha pucha hindi ako makapaniwalang gagawin ko ito. Pero teenage boy naman ako kaya katanggap-tanggap naman siguro.

...masaya kausap. Hindi lang basta masaya, yung nakakabaliw na kaligayahan. Yung parehas lang kayong sabaw. Yung puro kasabawan lang yung gagawin niyo 'pag lalabas kayo.

...marunong magseryoso. Syempre hindi naman pwedeng sabaw lang kayo forever, kasi wala kayong kinabukasan 'pag ganon. Gusto ko yung pwede ako mag-share ng deep thoughts ko, kasi syempre deep rin naman akong tao. Tiaka syempre dapat two-way, sana siya rin mag-share. Mahirap kasi na ako lang yung nagsasalita, baka kung ano isipin ng iba.

...masaya na sa mga simpleng bagay. Kasi mahirap lang ako, at hindi ko kayang magbigay ng mamahaling mga bagay lagi. HAHAHAHA selfish kasi itong part na 'to.

Actually yun lang. Ang hirap pala mag-isip, ayoko na. Happy Valentine's... Month.

ONE DAY

ONE DAY, I TELL YOU, I'LL BE TRAVELING AROUND THE WORLD SPENDING LOTS OF MONEY AND TIME BECAUSE I CAN.

- Writing out my thoughts before finally working on (using a sleep-deprived brain) piles and piles of unforgiving school-related requirements given out by equally unforgiving instructors. HUHU WHY IS LIFE UNFAIR; BECAUSE OF THESE REQUIREMENTS I WON'T BE ABLE TO GO TO UP FAIR. Yup I actually spent a minute on that sentence.

Nawawalan na ako ng gana

Oo, humingi ako ng exciting life, ng buhay outside acads (HAHA AS IF ACADS-CENTERED AKO) pero *sigh* hindi naman ako humingi ng sobra sobra :( Hindi ako nag-eenjoy masyado eh. Well, dalawang araw pa lang naman, hope that the coming days will be better :)

My mother has this habit of being too irrational that sometimes I forget she's FIFTY-EIGHT YEARS OLD. No regrets here, I feel like I'm the more mature person in this crappy argument we are in.

Demm can life get any busier BEING A CHEM MAJOR IS THE BEST

Sometimes you really have to pause for a moment and let everything... just be. Taoism yo

Physics

Iniignite lang talaga ng Physics 71 yung pagkasuya ko sa course ko eh. Kaya nga siguro ako nag BS Chem kasi siya na yung least hated science subject ko eh. BUT NO MERONG PHYSICS, BIO AT MATH SA COURSE KO PUNYETAAAAAAAAAAAA

NILOLOKO NA BA TALAGA AKO NG MUNDO TANGINA NAIIYAK NA TALAGA AKO. PAGOD NA AKO PUTA

ANO BA TALAGANG GUSTO KO SA BUHAY :((